Here are the lyrics:

Baby can you find my earplugs
They keep the city sounds away
I need to take a syrup shot, it's all I've got
To finally find a quiet place

Go to sleep

Baby can you see the monsters
Their chatter keeps me up all night
This one lost a job and that one had a kid
At least we're getting on all right

Go to sleep

Why can't I ever feel this good?
What's it like to be understood?
Who are we and where is peace?
And how mortality?
When do I go to sleep?

I don't know where I am
Halfway between cold and home
I need to take a syrup shot, it's all I've got
To finally find a quiet place

Go to sleep

***

It was my honor to be the first guest on the brand new songwriting podcast, DUET OR DON'T.  Tune in, and listen to Baby Molly and me write our way through this song.

What?

The album title is Anxious Inventions & Fictions, which is a lyric taken from the piano ballad "Insomnia".  The album art looks something like this:

 

Megan Fiely, "Insomnia", 24" X 24", acrylic on canvas, 2020.

This album exists in two versions. 

First, there is a ten song digital version.  Do you remember my crowdfunding campaign in order to press vinyl from earlier this year?  That did not get funded, so the ten song digital version is what the album would have been on vinyl.  In order to duplicate the vinyl experience, after the fifth song finishes playing, press pause on your device, get up and walk around the room for thirty seconds to simulate flipping the record over, and then continue. 

Second, there is a twelve song deluxe version on compact disc.  This contains two additional songs, an alternate mix of the opening track "Your Anthem", and a different track order, for a custom listening experience. The CD also comes with a twelve page booklet, containing lyrics, liner notes, and art.  For both versions, the album is sequenced carefully, and the listener is meant to listen to all of the songs in order.

 

Who?

Mike Bankhead.  That's the name/logo on the cover.  I wrote and arranged the songs for the most part.  I say "for the most part", because TINO wrote lyrics and is featured on one song (you might remember a blog post about him), and Greg Owens co-wrote another song (you might remember a blog post about him as well).  Also, two songs feature string arrangements by the outrageously talented Blair Breitreiter.  But wait, there is more...

Here is a list of the wonderful folks who lent their time and talents to this album:

Eli Alban
Dustin Booher 
Blair Breitreiter 
Thad Brittain  
Chris Corn 
Ken Hall
Valentino Halton
Patrick Himes 
Brian Hoeflich
Chad Middleton
Kent Montgomery
David Payne 
Nathan Peters 
Tim Pritchard 
Tod Weidner 
Heather York

This album sounds good, mostly because of this list of humans.  For those of you who are not familiar with independent music in Dayton, you'll just have to trust me when I say that some of the finest musicians in our area are represented here.  

Also, a tip of the hat to Megan Fiely for the beautiful painting, and to Spencer Williams for the photography, layout, and design.

 

When?

There are some different answers to this question.  Let's start with making the album.  Tracking and mixing took place between February 2019 and February 2020.  That's a year of hard work, not just my own efforts, but also the people listed above, and specifically Patrick Himes as the recording and mixing engineer and David Payne as assistant engineer.

You can order this album on September 4th.  That happens to be Bandcamp Friday, when Bandcamp forgoes their customary cut of artist sales.  That means that all of the funds spent on Anxious Inventions & Fictions on that specific date go to me, and contribute to my ability to continue making art for you to enjoy.  If perchance you don't know where to find me on Bandcamp, here's the link for you to bookmark:

https://mikebankhead.bandcamp.com/

The official release date for this album is September 12th.  That is the day that you will be able to listen to it on the Bandcamp page I just mentioned.  That's also the day for which a safe, socially distanced, outdoors release celebration is planned.

For those of you who only listen to music via streaming services, you will find Anxious Inventions & Fictions available there on September 15th.

 

 

Where?

The album was recorded and mixed at Reel Love Recording Company in Dayton, Ohio.  Blair handled some additional recording of string arrangements at Bohemian Trash Studios in Albuquerque, New Mexico.  The album was mastered at True East Mastering in Nashville, Tennessee.

The socially distanced release celebration will happen at Yellow Cab Tavern on 4th Street in downtown Dayton.  Please note that the owners and staff at Yellow Cab care deeply about the health of our community, and require all visitors to wear a mask.  If you do not wear a mask, they will kindly ask you to leave.  Yellow Cab also has social distancing guidelines in place.  If you wish to know more about the precautions they are taking and how you can cooperate, please give them a call.  

 

Why?

There are those who think that music doesn't need a reason, because "l'art pour l'art", right?  I haven't thought about that particular worldview all that much.  I certainly have my reasons for making art.  

Songwriting is how I deal with stress and anxiety and depression.  Songwriting helps me to work through all sorts of emotional turmoil, and the catharsis that it provides is probably a net benefit to my mental health.  Songwriting is a way for me to say what I want or need to say, especially when nobody is listening.  Not all of those songs get recorded as demos at home, and even fewer of them make it all the way to the studio... but some of them do, and this is what  happens when they do.

I still believe in the idea of the album as an art form. That's not popular these days, as music is seen as a resource, a commodity, a value-less product, both by the companies who use it to make profit, and by the vast majority of music listeners.  I don't make pop music, so of course, I'm not making music for these people.  I make music first of all for me, because it's something I'm driven to do... and all of you other musicians out there, I see you nodding along.  Of course, I wish to share my art... well, the subset of it that I get around to thinking is of enough quality to warrant sharing... but if I write something I don't personally like, you won't be hearing it.  I won't write in a genre or in a certain way because it's popular, because I'm trying to get rich, or because I think it's what someone wants to hear.  You'll only be getting authenticity from me, thank you very much.

The above said, music is also a means of communication.  Thoughts, feelings, ideas, the concrete, the abstract, and just about everyone wishes to be heard, yes?  Maybe music is kind of a cry for help?  Tell you what, as soon as I get a therapist, I'll be sure to discuss this with them.

 

How?

You know, ever since I was a teenager, if I see that particular word all on it's own, I can't help but sing it.  I mean, I sing it inside my own head where nobody is listening, but it has to be sung.  How, you said you never would leave me alone....

So, how did this happen?  Lots of hard work.  I'm not exactly a gifted musician or songwriter, but I work at it, and I have some perfectionist tendencies, which means lots of editing and re-writing. A great deal of singing practice.  A great deal of singing the same parts over and over again, until Patrick would tell me that it's no longer pitchy.  All sorts of patience from Patrick Himes and the musicians who agreed to play for me.  Even more patience from my wife when I would be in the studio for long hours and obsess over details in mixes at home.

How? Time. Pain. Self-Doubt. Frustration. Tears. Stress. Study. Thought. Experimentation. Explanation. Sleeplessness. 

 

Anxious Inventions & Fictions is my best work.  That's what I think, anyway.  I hope you think so, too.

You might remember that last week's blog was about co-writing "Won't Love You Anymore" with the gentleman pictured below.  I figure that this would be a good time for us to all get to know him a bit better.  Interview after the picture:

 

photo by Jon Estes

 

1. Let's hear the elevator pitch for your skill set and genre.   

I’m a singer/songwriter that writes and performs songs about, and for people who feel like they’ve been left behind by the world or someone they loved.  

 

2.  It seems like "Five Years From 21" was written when you were 26 years old.  You're older than that now.  How do you feel your life has changed since then? 

Quite drastically really. When I wrote that song, I was feeling really depressed and defeated. I was 26, working a retail job that I hated with coworkers that were mostly teenagers. I wasn’t playing a ton of music. I just wasn’t pursuing it at the time. I was lost.   

Fast forward to now: I’ve got a great “day job” that is flexible enough for me to still focus on music but also affords me an income to live comfortably. I’m married and couldn’t be happier! I’ve never been more confident in my music and my ability to connect with fans than I am right now. I’m feelin’ pretty damn good! ha  

 

3.  What was the first album you can remember buying with your own money? 

It probably would’ve been either Gish or Siamese Dream by the Smashing Pumpkins. I got the “Bullet With Butterfly Wings” single for Christmas when I was nine and fell in love with the band. One of my siblings already had Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness so I set out to buy the rest of their discography.  

  

4.  Tell me about the last concert you saw. 

The last concert I saw was in October of last year. Just typing that is really depressing! It was Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit at the Ryman here in Nashville. I’ve seen Isbell a handful of times but this may have been my favorite show of his. Our seats were great! We were pretty close (although there’s really not a bad seat at the Ryman). I drank significantly less than I have at past shows which led to less having to get up and get a drink or go to the restroom. Haha That was kinda a revelation! Maybe I don’t need to down 10 beers at a show! The band was fantastic as always. It was just a really great experience.  

  

5.  I happen to know you love The Smashing Pumpkins, like I do.  Let's get granular here... give me three of your favorite Smashing Pumpkins songs, and tell me specifically why you love them. 

"Bullet With Butterfly Wings" – It’s not a song I listen to regularly now but it had a profound effect on me as a child. I remember getting the single for Christmas as well as a boom box. I sat in my room and played that song over and over. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it but something about that music just really spoke to me. I immediately vowed to be a rock star and got my first guitar on my tenth birthday six months later.  

"Geek U.S.A." – Between that crazy guitar solo and Chamberlain’s incredible drumming this is just a straight up bad ass rock song! There’s tons of energy complete with a super quiet down part that then gets loud which is so wonderfully typical of the Pumpkins. It’s perfect.  

"Blissed and Gone"  – This an outtake from Adore. There’s several different versions, but I couldn’t find the original one that I heard anywhere. I think I probably illegally downloaded it on Napster or Kazaa (sorry ☹). It’s one of the saddest songs I’ve ever heard and that’s probably why I like it. It’s just super sad. Ha  

  

6.  You are the first person I have co-written with, and the experience was so positive for me that now I have a music project built around co-writing with a friend.  How has our collaboration influenced you? 

Our collaboration wasn’t the first time I’d co-written with somebody, but it was the first time I was actually happy with the final product! Ha The experience has encouraged me to want to co-write more. It was also cool that we were able to do it remotely. I was kinda surprised we were able to make that work, but we did! 

  

7.  If you had the power, what would you change about the music industry? 

It’d be easy to say, “I wish it was like the good ole days when people actually paid for music.” However, the major labels were in power back then, and folks like me and you wouldn’t stand a chance. In the digital age, we have more power. As an artist, I guess I’m kinda okay with how it is. As a consumer, I really hate paying extra for TicketMaster fees! Is TicketMaster really necessary?!? 

  

8.  How do you intend to keep growing as a songwriter and artist? 

When I was younger, I often wrote about my own life. It was very self-absorbed. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve started putting myself in other people’s shoes and writing from their point of view. I want to keep on doing that. Getting better at it. Meeting new people with different struggles and shining a light on that with my music. I also started learning how to play harmonica and I really want to step up my guitar game next. Basically, I just want to keep getting better at every aspect of my music. 

 

***

Why not go visit Greg's website?  You can also find him on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube.  I'm not going to ask you to send Greg messages and emails to bug him about when he's going to get around to recording "Won't Love You Anymore" himself, but I'm not going to NOT ask you to do that, either.  Or something.

You can listen to my recording of "Won't Love You Anymore" on all digital streaming services tomorrow, 11th August.  Would you do me the kindness of clicking here to pre-save on Spotify, or here on Apple Music?

 

when the stars fall out of the sky
and the moon breaks up with the tide
when the sun goes nova with a deafening roar
that's when I won't love you anymore

Those lyrics were around for awhile.  I managed to put a catchy melody and a simple chord progression with them.  That combination made a chorus. This is how a song starts....

And sometimes the song starts and then stops.  I wrote a verse, didn't like it, and discarded it.  I wrote another verse that wasn't any better and discarded it.  I would put the song down for weeks at a time, work on other things musically, and come back to it.  At no point was I able to write a verse that I thought was good enough to go with a decent chorus.  If you are wondering whether that was frustrating, I assure you that it was.  On the good days, the songs kind of write themselves, they just kind of fall out of you and things make sense... at least, that's what many songwriters will tell you.  It rarely happens for me that way, I usually have to put plenty of work in to write a song, but if I keep working at it, eventually I am able to finish.  This one wasn't like that.  It wasn't happening.  Sure I could have picked any of the many pieces I discarded just to call the thing "finished", but I have some perfectionist tendencies, and I didn't wan to settle for mediocre when the potential was there for something better.  

See that paragraph above?  Way too much "I".  There was a point when that had to become "we".  Enter Greg Owens.  

I met the handsome, bearded Mister Owens at a music conference in Nashville. He agreed to have a listen to those lyrics I posted above, as well as the music I had, and try to come up with a verse for it.  Now, if you clicked on the link to his website that I added above and listened to any of his songs, you will notice that we do not write in the same genre .  That said, we both very much love Smashing Pumpkins, so we have some similar influences.  When Greg got back to me with a verse, it was... well, perfect.  

Mostly perfect.  Musically, it was exactly what the song needed.  It complemented the chorus I had written very well, and the chord progression made perfect sense.  Lyrically, it was ok, but I thought we needed to do better.  WE.  Between a couple of Skype conversations and lots of back-and-forth emails, ideas came up, were debated, were traded, were refined.  Greg asked whether we needed a bridge.  I thought we did.  Greg wrote a bridge.  Eventually, we had a finished product.

The finished product is called "Won't Love You Anymore".  It is so much better for having been a collaboration.  This experience taught me that letting go of your pride and asking for help can be a good thing.  Songs are usually so personal to songwriters, but sometimes the best thing to do is open yourself up to another person's creativity and talent.  I am proud of the song that we wrote together.  You'll be able to hear it soon.

In order to give you a peek behind the curtain at my songwriting process, I'd like to tell you about my second attempt at the 5 in 5 Song Challenge.  I have written about this challenge in a previous blog entry, so this time, I'll skip explaining the big idea and get straight to the songs.

Day 1, 14th October 2019.  Prompt was to use at least five of these ten words: creek, orange, cider, make, gather, cotton, oak, spinning, poured, without.  Amplifier bonus (which I don't recall being part of the challenge the last time I participated) was to use the chord progression Dbm, Fm, Eb7.

I'm proud of what I managed to write for this one.  I started with the chord progression, as I figured that would be the hardest part.  It was.  If you're not a musician, let me tell you that those three chords are kind of creepy and ominous sounding when used in sequence.  I structured my verses for the song around them, and managed to use all ten (!) of the words, which I believe is a first for me.  Here's the thing... using those specific words, but making it seem natural and not forced... that was tough.  All told, there is one part here that I will re-write.  I didn't like the melody I used in the bridge, so will go back to work on that.  Other than that, I think the rest of the song will stay as-is, and I'll be adding it to my live repertoire next month.  

 

Day 2, 15th October 2019.  Prompt was to use the following idea as a starting point:  It has to come to an end, before it can begin.  What is it?  (If that sounds to you like something Seneca might have said, well, you're not the only person who thought so.)  Amplifier bonus was to use a minor 4 chord.

For this one, I did not write fresh lyrics.  Rather, I used lyrics from my collaborator, Ruth.  She had lyrics that needed music, and when I saw the prompt, I remembered these specific ones, as I thought they fit.  Lyrics in hand, I wrote the music, which I found to be rather easy this time.  I mostly write in minor keys, and if you write in a minor key, your 4 chord is automatically minor.  Easy as pie.  From reading some of the comments in the group, I might be the only person who understood the amplifier this way, as a few folks asked for clarification, and the clarification was to take a major 4 chord and change it to minor... but that's not what the prompt said.  Maybe the default assumption is that people only write in major keys?  

 

Day 3, 16th October 2019.  Prompt was to use "Harvest Moon" as a song title.  Ick.  Amplifier bonus is to write in a key you're not comfortable in.  

Well, I'm not really comfortable in any key that requires me to use more than just the white keys on a piano.  I'm not a competent pianist by any means, so I feel all warm and fuzzy writing in A minor.  For this one, I wrote the song on bass instead of piano... and I wrote the verses in G minor, but the chorus in B flat major.  I leaned toward snarky and humorous for the lyrical content.  I think this song is the best one I wrote all week, and I plan to record it next year and get it ready to release in time for fall.  I'll be playing it in public starting next month.

 

Day 4, 17th October 2019.  Prompt was to use at least five of ten given words.  Now, I don't have the complete word list (oops), but here are the ones that I used: older, settle, calling, pocket, strong, resist.   That's six.   Amplifier bonus was to use this chord progression: F, G, Cmaj7, Am.

That chord progression basically told me to write the song in A minor, which as I mentioned above, is my warm & fuzzy key.  Ok.  I wasn't too thrilled with the list of words, but no matter, I got to work.  I used the fantastic closer from the album The Blinding White Of Nothing At All, "All You Really Want Is Love", as inspiration.  The main songwriter, John Davis, is a strong influence on my songwriting.  Now, the song in question (please listen to it) sounds like it was written in a major key, and I wasn't about to do that, but I did write the B part of the song to have a slight major key feel.  I wrote it in second person.  I also followed a similar structure. A B A B outro.  

I wanted to write a song that I love as much as I love most everything on that record, and I fell short of that goal.  However, I like what I came up with enough to add it to my live setlist starting next month.  It needs some light editing, but there is potential here.  I also feel that this is a good song for We Met In Paris, so I sent it over to Ruth.

 

Day 5, 18th October 2019.  Prompt was to use the following idea as a starting point:  she is strong as an old fallen tree, but hollow inside.  Amplifier bonus was to change key during the song.

This time, let's start with my overall goal.  I wanted to write a Guided By Voices style song.  I did that just a little bit on one of the songs from the last time I did this challenge, and after editing, it ended up being called "Huns of Doubt", and you will be able to get your hands on it soon.  This time though, I didn't want to use any non-sequitur chords or a crazy time signature.

Beyond GBV, I think of the Wright Brothers and aviation when I think of Dayton.  Transportation terms popped into my head.  I thought about calling it "Propeller", but that's the name of an early GBV album, so no, can't do that.  I thought about the airplane imagery in some of their songs and album artwork... then I decided to call the song "Submarine".  Boats are called "she" by sailors, right?  Submarines are strong, and hollow inside.  Ok, title achieved.  For the lyrics, I used terminology related to submarines as a metaphor for a break up.

Musically, well, doing a key change is not new to me.  For Prompt 2 during this challenge, I wrote the verses in minor and the chorus in major.  If you remember "Harvest Moon", I used relative minor/major keys.  For this one though, I did something I've never done before... I just moved the entire thing a whole step up.  I tried to be clever doing this... I have some harmony vocals in it, and one of the harmony vocal lines, I keep it droning on the same note, before AND after the key change.  I think there is some potential here, and I might go to the studio with it next year sometime.

 

***

Summary.  Five days, five songs.  Three songs added to my live rotation, just as soon as I learn them well enough to play them from memory.  All of the songs will need to undergo a little bit of editing, but I don't foresee a major re-write on any of them.  I felt more comfortable doing this challenge than the previous one.  It would seem that all of the songwriting work I have been doing is paying off... I'm getting better at my craft.  That said, there is always always always room for improvement, and I'll probably jump on future challenges like this in an effort to do just that.

If you would like to hear these songs, I encourage you to sign up for my mailing list on the homepage of this website.  At some point, I'll be sending them as gifts to the folks who are subscribed.

How many of you remember the year 2000?  It was a simpler time. (Looking at you, Kent Montgomery.)  You didn’t have to take your shoes off to get past airport security.  As I recall, you didn’t have to pack your liquids in a clear plastic bag either.  Twitter wasn’t a thing. Facebook wasn’t a thing. Fountains Of Wayne were still a thing… they had been a band for five years and had already put out two albums, but were somehow still three years away from getting nominated for a Best New Artist Grammy. (?) 

I went to Paris in December 2000.  I had been before, and wanted to go back to spend time with the friends I had made on my initial trip… and also to do touristy things and drink wine and eat baguettes… as one does.  Paris in December is rainy and chilly (for them) and perhaps a bit dreary at times, but it’s still, you know, PARIS. 

One evening, my friends invited me along to drink at TGI Fridays.  That’s not what I understood at first… upon receiving the invitation, I was perplexed as to why any French person would set foot in an American fast casual joint, let alone wish to eat food that was frozen and shipped and microwaved.  “On ne mange pas là-bas”, I was told - “we don’t eat there”. No, apparently, this place had a happy hour with cheap drinks, and since it’s quite expensive to drink in Paris, some of the young locals liked to stop by for what we might call “pre-gaming” these days.  With that explanation in hand, I was more than willing to go along. 

We get to TGI Fridays.  We head to the bar. At the bar, there is a friend of my friends.  We greet each other, cheeks are kissed. This particular friend (who is still a friend and whose name is still Greg) has two English speakers with him… an Aussie and a Brit.  Their names are Cerys and Ruth, and they are cousins. Ruth has red hair. Now, I hadn’t spoken English in a few days, and while I could manage just fine in French, it was nice to get a little mental break and spend some time with fellow anglophones.  By the time I left the bar, I had new friends. 

I just looked at the neighborhood where this took place thanks to the bird’s eye view of Google Maps.  That TGI Fridays isn’t there anymore… it would appear that good happy hour prices do not make up for American fast casual cuisine… or, I’m probably wrong, because in the same location there appears to now be a Chipotle and a Starbucks.  Grumble. Things change. What has not changed is that Ruth and I are still friends and she still has red hair. What is more, it turns out that she is an extremely talented musician. 

I was thinking that it would be nice to have Ruth sing on my upcoming solo record, so I started sending her my home demos.  Eventually, I sent her a home demo that I had completed without lyrics or melody… couldn’t manage to put anything I liked to it… imagine… a completed song structure-wise… chord progression, bass line, verse, chorus, bridge, all of the parts… but no lyrics and no melody.  Shortly, she sends the demo back with great lyrics and a great melody and all right - now we HAVE to write together. So now we write together, despite living on opposite sides of the Atlantic Ocean. As of now we have 14 songs in varying stages of life from “demo complete and ready to track” to “idea so nascent that it can’t even be considered half-baked”.  What matters here is that it feels good. It’s nice to write with another person, as that can take a song to a place that otherwise it would not have been. It’s even nicer to write with someone who has been your friend for nearly 20 years. We are making art that I believe in. I can’t wait for you to hear it. 

Our band is called We Met In Paris.  It works because it’s true.